Monday, April 30, 2012

May 7th

May7th is a big step in my journey towards new islet cells! I will be going in to finally meet the research coordinator who I  have been really getting to know over the phone these past few months. I will also be meeting one of the doctors on the transplant team. We will be going over consent and any questions I have. This will take a few hours, and I could not be more excited! I am trying to take this process one step at a a time so I am not going to get too ahead of myself.
This study is a two year commitment and I am looking forward to all the twists and turns that may happen. It has been amazing to see how God has always put me exactly where I need to be. I have let go of my worry and anxiety and know that He will carry me down this road. This is going to be a very emotional journey in many ways. I am so blessed to have a husband who is just as excited about signing consent as I am. I have a group of supporting family and friends who will be here the entire way. I am proud to be apart of a medical team working so hard to make the lives of our generation and future generations better. Having two children I can only hope that they are not diagnosed with this, but if they are maybe it will be different. I feel like my whole life has been practice for this situation. All the medical issues and diagnosis, surgery and treatments have prepared me for one of the biggest procedures of my life!

Friday, April 20, 2012

I got a call!

So I seem to get all my updates on Fridays. Fridays are already great, so getting good new makes them that much better! All the doctors have said "yes" to move forward with me. The next step is going over the consent forms. I will be going in a few weeks to get that done. This just seems so surreal. It has not hit me that my life is already changed forever just by the journey I have been on so far. Letting the possibility in that this chronic illness could change even for a little while has made me realize that I have lived with some level of a wall built up. This opportunity has allowed me to break down those walls. And for that I am thankful.

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Last night on twitter there was a great discussion on acceptance. Acceptance of living with a chronic illness such as Type 1. I did not participate in the conversation but had a chance to read the questions and I would like to respond to them here. 

Q1. What are the things about living with diabetes that you accept? what are the things that you have trouble accepting?

I accept that it is something that I have to live with. I accept that I need insulin and I have to look at food a different way then other people. I have trouble accepting that it is FOREVER. There are days that  I am just "over it." I have days where I just cannot wrap my head around this being the rest of my life. Then there are days where I cannot imagine it ever not being an everyday part of my life. 

Q2.What, if any, is the danger of being too accepting about life with diabetes?

I do not think I have ever been "too" accepting. Maybe the danger would be that it is ruling you life? Maybe there is no such thing as being too accepting. 

Q3. There are a few tweets about “being too accepting of diabetes” & diabetes burnout. Do u think the 2 go hand in hand? why?

I think we are all human. I think we all have diabetes burnout, because it is hard. It is an everyday challenge. I do think being "too accepting" and burnout go hand in hand. We all go through different emotions about the disease at many different parts in our lives.

Q4.  How do you react to someone with greater/lesser level of acceptance of diabetes than yourself?

I don't really react. If they are on a greater level of acceptance then I can draw wisdom from that. If they are on a lesser level of acceptance I could only hope to help them by sharing my journey. I also believe that for me my level of acceptance changes with the roller coaster of life. There are times when I am way more accepting then other times in my life. 

Q5.  At what point did you accept that your child’s development of diabetes was not your fault? adults-when did you accept diabetes was not your fault?

I have never thought that it was my fault. I knew early on that God gave this to me for  a reason. I always felt like I could use it in my life to show other people that life is hard but you still can do great things.

Q6. Is  acceptance a one time thing, or is life with diabetes a constant cycle of acceptance?

For me it is a cycle. It has to be. I was diagnosed 12 years ago. I have gone through being a teenager, college student, wife and mother with type 1. I have not been able to go through all those stages in my life without being angry with type 1, then accepting type 1, then ignoring it. I am sure I will go though all those stages a few more times in this journey. 

I think acceptance looks very different to many different people. Right now I feel like I am not at total acceptance with my type 1. I feel like I am just tired right now. I  am always working on it. With the DOC I feel like I will have much more support then I have ever have and hopefully that will help me get back to acceptance.